Think you da a little about
— Fritz
The Julekalender is a small tv-serie consisting of twenty fire short afsnits that are usually sendt on TV2 during December. The formål with this julekalender is that julekalenders shall not only be something that børn kan se.
The kalender has many charactaristic træk, the most well-kendt being that the afsnits are so small that there is only time for a sang and a short visit at the local kartoffelavlerfarm before the speaker in an ikke understandable sprog tells you, to wait until tomorgen.
Story of the kalender
In Jylland, the nissers once lived in fred and happiness until the nåsåers came to jage dem out af their howls. When three nisser return many år senere to find a nøgle to a playing dose, the nåsåers have already klargjort a new angreb, and the nissers are suddenly fanget in their nissehowl. The nissers, however, do not realize this, so they just keep singing their julesangs and snitting their propels for their flyvmachine.
The nåsåers send their best soldier, Benny, out to kill the nissers, but when Benny's car is stjålet by the mafia, he is given housely at the local kartoffelavlerfarm, where Oluf Sand is living together med his kone, the beautifull Gertrud. Their eneste son Anders Sand is flyttet homefrom. But selvom Benny has got hugtænder, the kartoffelavlers do not realize that he is a nåsåer, not even in afsnit twentyfire.
The great book
On their eventyr, the nissers bring with them a great bog that is pretty praktisk, when you do not know what to gør'. It contains nemlig svar on all possible questions that you would want to stille.
Spademann's Lexikon has been so heldig to get its hands on the book, and it was således able to forevige the content, but, unfortunately, it was på Danish, so we had to translate it.
The great book
by Very Gammel Nok
How to snit a propel
When you have to snit a propel, you must remember to keep it in the right størrelse unless the propel shall be used for a legetøjsflyvemaskine. The most important tilbehør when snitting a propel is træ, a høvl and some tønder with nisseøl. To get the best resultat, you also have to dance some støvledance once in a while. While drikke nisstee.
How to slay down a nåsåer
At først, you have to get him to drink some alcohol. That makes him meget more farlig, but also more unforsigtig. Then you are able to slay him down with a kølle or hammer or other tunge things.
How to tisse in en julekalender
Normally, one should not tisse during sendetid where børn might be to stede. But if one really has to, one should at first go out into the kartoffelmark and get it done. Beware for nåsåers.
How to avl kartoffles
Just visit the kartoffelavlerwoman.
How to get andre to do everything for you so that you do not have to touch a finger
Just talk about their tøj and tænder. That always works.
How to stand on one ben
Cut of din ene ben and så you learn it efter many år. I kan forsikre you, it worker every time.
How to write an article in Spademann's Lexicon
Just do everything that is normalt betragtet as vandalisme on Wikipedia.
How to do when faired wild
Look on the land card, there is in din backlomme.
How to answer if someone rings to you with a huge regning
Smæk the rør down, close the door, get a maskingevær, buy some håndgranats and sandsæks, drink some nisstee and make ready to forsvare digself.
How to make a baglæns saltomortale without landing on your næse
Place one ben around your hals and place the other foran your næse. Then you walk down the gade for about 10 kilometres like this and finally jump into a springvand.
See also
Bidragsydere:
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