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| Kartoff'lavler Oluf Sand syn's, denn' hår artikel bår' er dæjli', men o' li'godt grov' en gang imell'm. Han wil dog smutt' nu; han ska' u' å' køv' en futprocessor. | | Kartoff'lavler Oluf Sand syn's, denn' hår artikel bår' er dæjli', men o' li'godt grov' en gang imell'm. Han wil dog smutt' nu; han ska' u' å' køv' en futprocessor. |
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| '''The Julekalender''' is a small [[tv]]-serie consisting of twenty fire short afsnits that are usually sendt on [[TV2]] during December. The formål with this julekalender is that julekalenders shall not only be something that børn kan se. | | '''The Julekalender''' is a small [[tv]]-serie consisting of twenty fire short afsnits that are usually sendt on [[TV2]] during [[December]]. The formål with this julekalender is that julekalenders shall not only be something that [[børn]] kan se. |
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| The kalender has many charactaristic træk, the most well-kendt being that the afsnits are so small that there is only time for a sang and a short visit at the local kartoffelavlerfarm before the speaker in an ikke understandable sprog tells you to wait until tomorgen. | | The kalender has many charactaristic træk, the most well-kendt being that the afsnits are so small that there is only time for a [[sang]] and a short visit at the local kartoffelavlerfarm before the speaker in [[dansk|an ikke understandable sprog]] tells you, to wait until tomorgen. |
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| ==Story of the kalender== | | ==Story of the kalender== |
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| In Jylland, the nissers once lived in fred and happiness until the nåsåers came to jage dem out af their howls. When three nisser return many år senere to find a nøgle to a playing dose, the nåsåers have already klargjort a new angreb, and the nissers are suddenly fanget in their nissehowl. The nissers, however, do not realize this, so they just keep singing their julesangs and snitting their propels for their flyvmachine. | | In [[Jylland]], the [[nisse]]rs once lived in fred and happiness until the [[nåsåere|nåsåers]] came to jage dem out af their howls. When three nisser return many år senere to find a nøgle to a playing dose, the nåsåers have already klargjort a new angreb, and the nissers are suddenly fanget in their [[røvhul|nissehowl]]. The nissers, however, do not realize this, so they just keep singing their [[julesange|julesangs]] and snitting their propels for their flyvmachine. |
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| The nåsåers send their best soldier, Benny, out to kill the nissers, but when Benny's car is stjålet by the [[mafia]], he is given housely at the local kartoffelavlerfarm, where Oluf Sand is living together med his kone, the beautifull Gertrud. Their eneste son Anders Sand is flyttet homefrom. But selvom Benny has got hugtænder, the kartoffelavlers do not realize that he is a nåsåer, not even in afsnit twentyfire. | | The nåsåers send their best soldier, Benny, out to kill the nissers, but when Benny's car is stjålet by the [[mafia]], he is given housely at the local kartoffelavlerfarm, where Oluf Sand is living together med his [[kone]], the beautifull Gertrud. Their eneste son Anders Sand is flyttet homefrom. But selvom Benny has got hugtænder, the kartoffelavlers do not realize that he is a nåsåer, not even in afsnit twentyfire. |
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| ==The great book== | | ==The great book== |
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| On their eventyr, the nissers bring with them a great bog that is pretty praktisk, when you do not know what to gør'. It contains nemlig svar on all possible questions that you would want to stille. | | On their [[eventyr]], the nissers bring with them a great [[bog]] that is pretty praktisk, when you do not know what to gør'. It contains nemlig svar on all possible questions that you would want to stille. |
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| Spademann's Lexikon has been so heldig to get its hands on the book, and it was således able to forevige the content, but, unfortunately, it was på Danish, so we had to translate it. | | [[Spademanns Leksikon|Spademann's Lexikon]] has been so heldig to get its hands on the book, and it was således able to forevige the content, but, unfortunately, it was på Danish, so we had to translate it. |
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| <div style='width:90%;border:brown inset 20px;background-color:beige;font-family:"Old English text";font-size:14px;padding:10px;'> | | <div style='width:90%;border:brown inset 20px;background-color:beige;font-family:"Old English text";font-size:14px;padding:10px;'> |
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| ''by Very Gammel Nok'' | | ''by Very Gammel Nok'' |
| ===How to snit a propel=== | | ===How to snit a propel=== |
| When you have to snit a propel, you must remember to keep it in the right størrelse unless the propel shall be used for a legetøjsflyvemaskine. The most important tilbehør when snitting a propel is træ, a høvl and some tønder with nisseøl. To get the best resultat, you also have to dance some støvledance once in a while. While i drikke nissetee. | | When you have to snit a propel, you must remember to keep it in the right størrelse unless the propel shall be used for a legetøjsflyvemaskine. The most important tilbehør when snitting a propel is [[træ]], a høvl and some tønder with nisse[[øl]]. To get the best resultat, you also have to dance some støvledance once in a while. While drikke nisstee. |
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| ===How to slay down a nåsåer=== | | ===How to slay down a nåsåer=== |
| At først, you have to get him to drink some alcohol. That makes him meget more farlig, but also more unforsigtig. Then you are able to slay him down with a kølle or hammer or other tunge things. | | At først, you have to get him to drink some [[Alkohol|alcohol]]. That makes him meget more farlig, but also more unforsigtig. Then you are able to slay him down with a kølle or hammer or other tunge things. |
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| ===How to tisse in en julekalender=== | | ===How to tisse in en julekalender=== |
| Normally, one should not tisse during sendetid where børn might be to stede. But if one really has to, one should at first go out into the kartoffelmark and get it done. Beware for nåsåers.
| | [[Normal]]ly, one should not [[tis]]se during sendetid where børn might be to [[sted]]e. But if one really has to, one should at first go out into the kartoffelmark and get it done. Beware for nåsåers. |
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| ===How to avl kartoffles=== | | ===How to avl kartoffles=== |
| Just visit the kartoffelavlerwoman. | | Just visit the kartoffelavlerwoman. |
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| ===How to get andre to do everything for you so that you do not have to touch a finger=== | | ===How to get andre to do everything for you so that you do not have to touch a finger=== |
| Just talk about their tøj and tænder. That always works. | | Just talk about their [[tøj]] and tænder. That always works. |
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| ===How to stand on one ben=== | | ===How to stand on one ben=== |
| Cut of din ene ben and så you learn it efter many år. I kan forsikre you, it worker every time. =D | | Cut of din [[en]]e ben and så you learn it efter many [[år]]. I kan forsikre you, it worker every [[time]]. |
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| ===How to write an article in Spademann's Lexicon=== | | ===How to write an article in Spademann's Lexicon=== |
| Just do everything that is normalt betragtet as vandalisme on [[Wikipedia]]. | | Just do everything that is normalt betragtet as [[vandalisme]] on [[Wikipedia]]. |
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| ===How to do when faired wild=== | | ===How to do when faired wild=== |
| Look on the land card. | | Look on the land card, there is in din backlomme. |
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| ===How to answer if someone rings to you with a huge regning=== | | ===How to answer if someone rings to you with a huge regning=== |
| Smæk the rør down, close the door, get a maskingevær, buy some håndgranats and sandsæks, drink some iste and make ready to forsvare digself. | | Smæk the rør down, close the door, get a maskingevær, buy some håndgranats and sandsæks, drink some nisstee and make ready to forsvare digself. |
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| ===How to make a baglæns saltomortale without landing on your næse=== | | ===How to make a baglæns saltomortale without landing on your næse=== |
| Place one ben around your hals and place the other foran your næse. Then you walk down the gade for about 10 kilometres like this and finally jump into a springvand. | | Place one ben around your hals and place the other foran your næse. Then you walk down the gade for about [[10]] kilometres like this and finally jump into a springvand. |
| </div> | | </div> |
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| <div class="boilerplate metadata" id="redigermig" width=100%><table align=center CELLPADDING=5 CELLSPACING=5 style="background-color: #E3FDD4; border: solid 1px #B19F95"><tr><td>''The forfatter to this article is bedøvende equalglad if you [{{SERVER}}{{localurl:{{NAMESPACE}}:{{PAGENAME}}|action=edit}} '''rediger'''] it, and your bidrags are probably much sjover than mine.''</td></tr></table></div>
| | ==See also== |
| [[Kategori:redigermig]] | | * [[Dengelsk]] |
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| <div class="boilerplate metadata" id="construction"><table style="padding: 5px; background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: dashed 3px #FF0000; padding: 8px; margin: auto"><tr><td>[[Billede:Orange nissehue.png|64px]]</td>
| | [[Kategori:Ting på TV]] |
| <td style="text-align: center">'''This article sugs because it is still under konstruktion.'''<br />The article will be finishmade fastest possibly forudsat that the scribent does not get a bloodprop before. Or maybe '''YOU''' could do it?<br />
| | [[Kategori:Jul]] |
| <span style="font-size: 80%; color: grey">''Note'': If this article is not redigeret before syv days, it kan be sniffed.</span>
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| </td><td>[[Billede:Orange nissehue.png|64px]]</td></tr></table></div>[[Kategori:Artikler under ombygning]]
| |
Think you da a little about
— Fritz
The Julekalender is a small tv-serie consisting of twenty fire short afsnits that are usually sendt on TV2 during December. The formål with this julekalender is that julekalenders shall not only be something that børn kan se.
The kalender has many charactaristic træk, the most well-kendt being that the afsnits are so small that there is only time for a sang and a short visit at the local kartoffelavlerfarm before the speaker in an ikke understandable sprog tells you, to wait until tomorgen.
Story of the kalender
In Jylland, the nissers once lived in fred and happiness until the nåsåers came to jage dem out af their howls. When three nisser return many år senere to find a nøgle to a playing dose, the nåsåers have already klargjort a new angreb, and the nissers are suddenly fanget in their nissehowl. The nissers, however, do not realize this, so they just keep singing their julesangs and snitting their propels for their flyvmachine.
The nåsåers send their best soldier, Benny, out to kill the nissers, but when Benny's car is stjålet by the mafia, he is given housely at the local kartoffelavlerfarm, where Oluf Sand is living together med his kone, the beautifull Gertrud. Their eneste son Anders Sand is flyttet homefrom. But selvom Benny has got hugtænder, the kartoffelavlers do not realize that he is a nåsåer, not even in afsnit twentyfire.
The great book
On their eventyr, the nissers bring with them a great bog that is pretty praktisk, when you do not know what to gør'. It contains nemlig svar on all possible questions that you would want to stille.
Spademann's Lexikon has been so heldig to get its hands on the book, and it was således able to forevige the content, but, unfortunately, it was på Danish, so we had to translate it.
The great book
by Very Gammel Nok
How to snit a propel
When you have to snit a propel, you must remember to keep it in the right størrelse unless the propel shall be used for a legetøjsflyvemaskine. The most important tilbehør when snitting a propel is træ, a høvl and some tønder with nisseøl. To get the best resultat, you also have to dance some støvledance once in a while. While drikke nisstee.
How to slay down a nåsåer
At først, you have to get him to drink some alcohol. That makes him meget more farlig, but also more unforsigtig. Then you are able to slay him down with a kølle or hammer or other tunge things.
How to tisse in en julekalender
Normally, one should not tisse during sendetid where børn might be to stede. But if one really has to, one should at first go out into the kartoffelmark and get it done. Beware for nåsåers.
How to avl kartoffles
Just visit the kartoffelavlerwoman.
How to get andre to do everything for you so that you do not have to touch a finger
Just talk about their tøj and tænder. That always works.
How to stand on one ben
Cut of din ene ben and så you learn it efter many år. I kan forsikre you, it worker every time.
How to write an article in Spademann's Lexicon
Just do everything that is normalt betragtet as vandalisme on Wikipedia.
How to do when faired wild
Look on the land card, there is in din backlomme.
How to answer if someone rings to you with a huge regning
Smæk the rør down, close the door, get a maskingevær, buy some håndgranats and sandsæks, drink some nisstee and make ready to forsvare digself.
How to make a baglæns saltomortale without landing on your næse
Place one ben around your hals and place the other foran your næse. Then you walk down the gade for about 10 kilometres like this and finally jump into a springvand.
See also
